I read an article this morning by Stacy Clark, a marketing consultant for lawyers. She shared observations about rainmakers. One that I found particularly interesting was her observation that “early on in their careers, these million-dollar babies all decided to pursue a hobby, which turned into a passion.” So, now you have two reasons to take time out from your busy schedule and do something that you enjoy!
Malcolm Gladwell (in his books “Blink” and “Outliers“) claims that it takes 10,000 hours of practicing any one thing to become an expert in that thing. While this number is the subject of debate, the essence of this comment suggests that sustained effort is as, or perhaps is even more important than “natural talent and inclination.” Gladwell claims that it was the year plus of the Beatles playing for several hours a day, seven days a week in Hamburg in the early 1960s, that gave the band the chops to become the great band they became.
Does this same rule also apply to lawyering, and even client development?
I have spoken to, and worked with tens of thousands of lawyers who seek to build more influence in their relationships and clients for their law practice. Momentum seems to be the key. Practice makes perfect. Max Kennerly, a Philadelphia trail lawyer, offers some keen insights on excelling as a young litigator. Good advice that applies to many areas of our lives. He concludes with a zinger of a statement:
“This is a profession, not a hobby. It takes time. The best time to plant a tree is 30 years ago. The second best time is today.”
So, if you want to build your law practice, start planting the seeds today. With sustained effort, your efforts will bear fruit. If you need help and support, The Likeable Lawyer launches a new professional development program for lawyers in June. It will be called Prospero, JD, and it will give lawyers the tools, strategies and support they need to build a successful book of business. For more information, comment on this post and we’ll send you news as the launch date nears, as well as some special offers and gifts.
Many lawyers prepare for mediation with a two-prong approach. First, developing a full understanding their client’s objectives; and second, formulating a strategy of carrots and sticks (backed up with logical arguments) in order to achieve these objectives. This is the nature of our polarized jurisprudence. Two lawyers zealously representing their clients, and then hashing it out.
Is there a better way? Sometimes there is.
Next time before you mediate, try this. Take a piece of paper and draw a line down the center. On one side list your client’s objectives. On the other side, list what you know about the other party’s objectives. For both sides, don’t stop with superficial objectives; go deeper. Why do they want this? It might help you understand deeper needs and objectives, enabling new creative solutions and variety for achieving more of these needs. You might also engage your client in this Needs Mapping process.
From this Needs Map, prepare a negotiation proposal that seeks to get as many needs and objectives met as possible. When you present your proposal, tell them why you think it is a good one. Tell them that you are seeking to get as many needs and objectives met as possible. As for their help in doing so. See if you can then have a more productive, creative and satisfying negotiation.
This negotiation strategy isn’t appropriate in all situations. Though I have used it successfully in over half of my negotiations and mediations. And have achieved more of my and my clients’ objectives as a result.
For more information about this negotiation model, I encourage you look at two programs offered by The Likeable Lawyer.
The Negotiation Success Series
Lessons from Aristotle
Good luck, and please share your experiences!
There are a lot of lawyers out there competing for influence and clients. You are smart and at times crafty in argument, though that is only a part of what it takes to win clients and influence decision-makers.
The most persuasive lawyers distinguish themselves from the pact with consistent investments of time, thought and empathy. The most persuasive lawyers remember people and do little things that cause other people to feel cared about. They listen, ask questions and make thoughtful gestures.
So what have you done lately to distinguish yourself from the 2,000,000 other lawyers that are competing for clients and influence? Please share your successes.
The Likeable Lawyer offers three continuing legal education webinars this May that are packed with tips on how to distinguish yourself from the pack:
The Trusted Lawyer
The Persuasive Lawyer
Lessons from Aristotle
Let me know if you can join me!
In most capacities, trust is an essential ingredient to success as a lawyer. To smoothly accomplish their objectives, attorneys must earn the trust of clients, staff, opposing counsel, colleagues, decision-makers, almost everyone. And even if a lawyer is trustworthy, they must also be perceived as trustworthy in order to gain the support they need to succeed.
So what builds trust? Here are a couple things to think about: While competence and follow-through are instrumental to trust, so is intimacy and empathy. People tend to trust lawyers they perceive care about them, and who seem to place their interests as high as the lawyer’s interests.
What can you do to demonstrate this care? Here is an easy one—ask them a question about themselves: “How are you doing today?” is an easy question to ask. There may be something more personal you can ask, “How did your kid’s soccer game go over the weekend?” And don’t forget to listen to their answer and ask an appropriate follow-up question. Try it today with your legal assistant. And thank you for helping me prepare for my webinar tomorrow: “The Trusted Lawyer.” You can read more about it at www.likeablelawyer.com.
For the past 9 years, The Likeable Lawyer has presented highly-praised CLE programs that follow Aristotle’s three elements of persuasion – ethos (relationship), pathos (passion) and logos (logic). Law school teaches logos, our programs give perspective and insight into ethos and pathos and over 40,000 lawyers have found our programs to be of the highest caliber.
In 50 days, The Likeable Lawyer will launch its newest program, Prospero JD. This convenient and valuable program is for lawyers who want ideas and support with client development, and features weekly video lessons and action tips that are delivered to you.
In anticipation of launching this program, please consider your persuasion and client development strategies.
1. What is your secret to persuasion?
2. What is your secret to client development?
Please let me know your strategies and stay tuned for more information about persuasion and client development.
My big new this month is that I am going to be teaching three CLE courses in New York City in March. Over the past nine years, I have taught over 1,000 classes in 32 states, and this is my first time to present our highly acclaimed material in the Big Apple.
It seems that NYC lawyers have quite a reputation throughout the United States, and I look forward to engaging with the infamous NYC lawyer under the banner of The Likeable Lawyer. I will be teaching
All three courses give lawyers fresh insights into increasing influence with everyone, including clients, opposing counsel and decision-makers, and how to negotiate better resolutions for clients. The three classes together are approved for 16 hours of CLE credit, including 3.5 hours of ethics credit and will be held at the New York Seminar and Conference Center Center, 71 West 23rd Street, Suite 515, Seminar Rm. A, New York.
Full course agendas for these Likeable Lawyer CLE courses in New York City are available at likeablelawyer.com. I hope you can join me!
Most human beings do not like to be told “no.” And we don’t like to be told what is wrong with our ideas and proposals. Beneath conscious awareness, our unconscious brain long ago associated “no” with us not getting what we wanted. This happened in childhood when “no” meant we could not stay up late or have extra desert instead of vegetables. As a result, we have an unconscious negative reaction to hearing “no” or any synonymous expression that suggest “no” and we are less likely to cooperate, brainstorm, synergize, and co-create with someone who tells us what is wrong with our ideas and proposals.
Many lawyers use a lot of “no’ing” in their negotiation style. The other lawyer is making a proposal, and we might cut them off before they finish and tell them what is wrong with their idea. We say “that will not work,” “our client will never go for that,” or some other expression that basically translates as “no.”
The word “no” is off limits to improvisational actors. The theory is that if one actor says “no” to another’s idea, this will be taken personally, shut down creativity, and the scene will go nowhere. So improv actors are taught to say “yes, and” to every idea. Go with the idea by affirming it with some version of “yes,” and then alter its direction with the “and.”
Try “yes, and” in your negotiation style. When the other party expresses a proposal, find something to affirm about it. Is there something in the proposal that you like. Though, you don’t have to agree with the proposal itself; you can thank them for the idea, or for beginning the creative exploration. Say “yes” to them and their role, if you can’t find anything about the proposal to affirm, and then use the “and” to interject your ideas into the conversation. Your ideas will more likely be heard, which is a critical element of influence and persuasion.
The Likeable Lawyer has an awesome class which discusses this and many other elements for increasing our ability to achieve great results in negotiation. The name of the class is “Lessons from Aristotle” and it is available by webinar every other month. For more information, please visit www.likeablelawyer.com
I don’t think so. I have worked with over lawyers nationwide and I find most attorneys to be good-humored, and open-minded. There are exceptions, of course, though I believe that over 90% of us are generally trustworthy and care quite a bit about people and society.
Though some of our communication habits might suggest otherwise. Our training conditions us to find problems, cross-examine, lecture, cut people off to get our points across, and often control conversation. Moreover, representing clients causes us to find the flaws in any proposal or view that is inconsistent with our client’s position. And many lawyers have allowed these representation skills to cross-over and become their general style of communication-both professionally and personally. This causes problems! Lawyers often come across as controlling, arrogant and negative, even to family members. And this is frustrating for many lawyers because they really do care.
Most people, when communicating with another, will feel good about the conversation if they believe the other person cares. Except it is not actual care we are talking about, rather, it is the perception of care. Cutting someone off mid-sentence is often interpreted as not caring. You might simply be trying to save time, though it is interpreted as not caring about what the person was saying. Giving advice may seem like care, but it often is not received that way. So the question becomes, if we do in fact care, how can we ensure that the people with whom we communicate perceive this care.
There is no better way to communicate care than to give another person your undivided attention. And when they slow down, ask some open-ended, curiosity-based, follow-up questions. When they seem to be done with their point, try perception checking, or repeating back what they said in your own words, asking them if you have it right. If you do have it right, ask them how they might proceed with the situation as opposed to giving your advice. In other words, keep them talking as much as possible, saying as few words as you can get away with in order to keep the conversation moving.
I do this all the time and I have discovered that people love it, and tend to reciprocate in kind. Though check it our for yourself. Try this approach with someone for 20 minutes today. Let me know what you observe.
It is so tempting sometimes to stay at the office late (again) tonight. Sometimes I find myself thinking “I’ll go the extra mile tonight, and take some time off tomorrow, or this weekend, or next month, or … And tomorrow remains a day away.
Don’t get into the “becoming a workaholic” rut. Prioritize time for yourself, and a balanced life — every day! You will be happier, healthier and a better lawyer.
The Likeable Lawyer is currently developing a new ongoing program to facilitate lawyers to simultaneously increase their success, fulfillment and balance! The program is called Thrive, and will debut the spring of 2012. Please visit www.likeablelawyer.com in early 2012 for additional information.
Brian Hammer's insights gleaned from discussions in The Likeable Lawyer continuing legal education courses and other sources on how to improve client satisfaction, increase influence in professional relationships, and generally improve life as a lawyer.Copyright © 2004–2009. All rights reserved.
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